The days before a final:

Don’t look at the book man, don’t do it. It’s easy stuff. And don’t go to class, no one can understand your teacher, so it’ll be a waste of time. Play some Zelda, yea, some Zelda. Or maybe even some Metroid Prime. That game kicks ass.

The night of the final:

Fuck man! Look at the fucking book! THE BOOK! You don’t know shit, do you!?!? NO YOU DON’T YOU SHITFUCK. Maybe if you went to class, you’d fucking understand this shit, but no, you had to sleep. You didn’t even fucking play Zelda, you just went to the same websites over and over again, hitting refresh, hoping to God someone would post something. Well guess what, now you’re F’ed in the A. No, wait, you know what, you’re Fucked in the Asshole. You’re like three steps above F’ed in the A.

But you know what, don’t study. Its okay. Blog about how you aren’t studying instead. That’s the smart thing to do. The internet will save you. Yup, the fucking internet, the one that screwed your asshole and then left it in the dirt like some sort of drunk whore is going to save you in your time of need. So you know what, I’m going to listen to my teacher and go to sleep. He said to go to sleep early, it would get me a better grade, so I’m going to actually listen to one of his many life lessons and go to sleep. It doesn’t matter if I know the material or not, he said if I sleep, I’ll do better than everyone else. So good night internet, you can have my asshole some other day.

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